As I bid goodbye to Sam & Daron, I pushed off from shore with blue skies and zero wind. My loaded boat felt more like a loaded dart than a boat. I would get up to speed, and if I stopped paddling it would just keep going in whatever direction it was going for quite some time. As long as I kept it in the happy speed, it was easy to paddle, but if it came to a stop it was like getting a 18 wheeler moving again and hard on the arms and shoulders.

I didn’t stop for lunch, as I was stocked with peanut butter and bananas on the deck of my boat and the floating tanker was easy to keep moving so I figured I would take advantage of the calm water and no breeze.

This section of the river must be pretty remote. I didn’t see a single boater, train, house, person or barge all day.

When I hit the first lock of the day, the lock operator was great. He or she saw me and already started filling the lock so as soon as I pulled the cord he/ she was already opening the gates. I appreciated the efficiency for sure! The operator didn’t even walk outside, all I saw was an arm covered in safety yellow waving from a tinted window as I waved back.

30 miles into the day I found out that tomorrows wind will be a headwind 18mph steady with 40 mph gust and 40% chance of rain, so logistics mode kicked in. There was a 2nd lock 20 miles down river and virtually nothing in between so it was hammer time to make that lock before darkness set in. I didn’t really want to set up a campsite in the rain and sit in the woods waiting 24 hours for the wind to stop, pack up wet camping gear and continue to head south.

I was talking to a project manager/ friend from Washington state on the phone about a work project and she went it to PM mode explaining that there was a really small hotel below the lock in a postage stamp of a town that would work to ride out the winds. She called and spoke with Tammy the inn keeper explaining the situation…

As I got to the 2nd lock at mile 48.9, the winds had already gone from calm to a headwind making the last few miles a challenge and the sun had already set for the day. The lock was fairly quick, and I was very lucky as there was a large barge headed up river that I beat to the lock by about 10 minutes. This was the 2nd lock of the day… I didn’t even see a waving arm as I passed. Commercial traffic has right of way and the large barges have a 2.5 hour lock time. I would have been transferred in complete darkness with a headlamp which would have sucked.

Person #1 of the day
Tammy the inn keeper met me at the waters edge, handed me a key card and said goodnight. She was the 75 year old, long grey haired inn keeper you would expect who usually went home at 7pm on the dot. I was thankful she stayed until I got there to make sure I received a key. I asked if there was any food close, and she replied “nope…. Especially on a Monday” she then turned around and headed home for the evening.

The hotel was a really old building that had been remodeled at some point. It was originally built in 1858 as a hardware warehouse, the building later operated as the Empire Button Works, stamping mother-of-pearl buttons from Mississippi River mussel shells.

I quickly secured my boat for high winds on the side of the river, unloaded my gear in my room and headed out into the town for the one restaurant that Google Maps said was actually open on to find after my 10 minute walk it was actually closed. I quickly search on Google showed that the grocery store was open for 10 more minutes so I went a new direction.

As I walked down main street, every store was closed, I never saw a car, heard a dog bark etc. It was eerily quiet…. Dead calm. The town was super clean, well laid out and clearly designed for winter weather with double front doors and garages in the back or side of the building and homes but no sign of life.

Person #2 of the day
The grocery store parking lot was empty and I figured that it would be closed as well. The store was easily a 1980’s built store with old school front doors, low ceilings and 3 registers and 1 employee cleaning the register area just to kill time until I was done. 1/3rd of the interior lights had already been turned off. The others, a cool white yellowing glow over the shelves, not a LED bulb or sign of modern lighting in site. As I walked in the cashier didn’t even look up to see who I was, she didn’t care as I was either a tourist or a local who was out of ice cream at this time of night. This type of town has no crime, everyone knows everyone. I had burned 5600 calories today so it was a quick junk food dash to get out prior to the ugly looks happening as she looked at the clock on the wall glancing up at me as I walked the isles.

Off I went with a couple bags of calories which would make a health coach roll over and stroke out walking towards the button factory I went, walking down the middle of Main Street, without a soul looking out a window, walking a dog or driving past. This was so creepy, so odd, yet so amazing!!!! As I passed the small businesses, store fronts all with hand made signs with random hours I realized this is the part of America that people truly enjoy, not a corporate franchise in the entire city. If “Fred” isn’t open, you call his cell phone and he will open up. I kinda like it.

Back at the Button factory, I didn’t see a guest, and no cars in the parking lot , not a sound. Not a peep…. Just Steve in room #1

Had the rapture happened? Was it me and 2 older women who didn’t make the cut? I wonder which part of town they will claim and when will the zombies hit? Should I set a booby trap at the end of the hallway before my junk food coma hits?

643am…. I awoke, not realizing I had even fell asleep.

The zombies are here.

The thud of them stomping down the hallway was obvious. I jumped out of bed to check the door. I was confused about the sounds the zombies make. In the movies the noises are deep guttural sounds, these noises are high pitched squeals like children playing……

As the zombie children ran up and down the hallway, once, twice, 42 times I attempted to ignore them for a few more minutes of blissful sleep…. Not an option, I needed coffee. As I opened the door the 3 little screaming zombies all dressed exactly the same in Amish dresses instantly froze mode stride, and looked at me terrified as I said hello. The 3 women in the hallway dressed in the same style all looked like duplicates. It was clear the family tree was a telephone pole. Someone in the community must not have explained hotel ethics like they did furniture construction. This family of zombies had turned the hotel hallway into a personal play area/ daycare.

As I walked past, I said good morning to the 3 ladies as they sat motionless, they refused to make eye contact or reply. I am not sure if it was me or the 3 smaller zombie duplicates that had them so terrified. I instinctively looked for the subtle hint of the help me hand sign for human trafficking.

I walked outside into the wind and rain to get coffee, hoping that Google Maps could read the hours on the hand written signs… I was pleased seeing 2 cars drive past me, and a person walking a dog down the sidewalk.

Maybe the rapture didn’t happen, I dodged a bullet!